Hello

I just wasted my day at home. :(

Jurong East Library is my favorite haunt for now 'cos I study so much more better there but I couldn't wake up in time today to get a good space. So decided not to go because going to Jurong East on Sundays is like going to Yew Tee Macs after school. Filled and filled and filled with students.

Sometimes, I wish I weren't studying. Sometimes in class, I look out the window on the streets and wish I weren't stuck in the classroom. Sometimes, when I stand on a section of the road waiting to cross the pedestrian crossing and see the cars whizz by, I wish I were one of them. Sometimes, I wish too much.

Nah, this isn't an emo post. Blogging is just an outlet for me to express what I'm thinking -- for what it's worth.

I get panic attacks so much more often now. It's not even nearing A levels but I keep thinking: I have no time! I have no time! And then I get (somewhat) determined to mug it like no tomorrow, and then it never happens. Not all the time, though. Last Sunday was spent so productively on arithmetic progression and geometric progression (APGP). But it's so inconsistent. A part of me wants to get this part of my life over and done with and yet another part of me tells me that I need to stay on and discover God's will for me in this period of time.

But still, I can't wait till A level's over!

1001 things I wanna do, I just saw Britain's tourist advertisement on television, it looks absolutely enticing, although I know that it was created to look that way. Plus the pictures of Venice in Lit class. Gossshhhh. I wanna watch a good movie, and just chill out.

So, I have come to a conclusion: Whatever it is, what reasons, what feelings, what problems, what struggles, just study hard. 'Cos my Father's love is enough for me to overcome all of them.

P.S
I don't get what gets to Mr Boey Kim Cheng so much that he describes Singapore HDB life as a "perpetual unrest" with "the endless knockings, / the stampeding feet, the hurricanes of bad temper, / the eternal television, the trashing bodies, / the endless rituals of life and death." I just heard a Malay family chorus a "Happy Birthday" to their little boy at the lift landing and 'tho it was out of tune and flat, it was oh-so-heartwarming. What's wrong with HDB life? I never wanna move into a condo. (Maybe I'll eat my words when I earn big bucks. But for now, that's the way it is.)

P.P.S
Sorry for the long post that strained your eyes and thanks for reading thus far.