Journal Entry...

Lord, I need strength for this week. When I look at the coming week, I feel that I'm looking at my Giants. Yes, I feel like a grasshopper. I feel like the Isrealites when they were challenged and confronted by the Philistines.

Yet, I know the outcome of these stories. Yet, I know in my heart that they were more than just stories, but Truths. I need strength to beat these giants, I need strength to get through this week without worrying, without griping about school, without being distracted, and to focus on what I should be doing. I need strength to overcome my own desires to take things easy, and to excel in everything I attempt to do this week.

In a nutshell, I need You.

Numbers 13:30-33

...Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are... We saw the Nephilim there. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

1 Samuel 17:45-47

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied... All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."

I take courage in Your word because it is in Your word that I find strength!

Let Me Let You (into my life)

With this blog, aren't I already?

Just a day of my life for you: Yesterday

Wanted to blog yesterday but was too tired to. But Yesterday was an Interesting Day. I mean, I think it would be a normal day for some, but it was an Interesting Day for me. Why do I say so? Read on. (I can be such a pain, sometimes.)

So Yesterday, I decided to go to Jurong East Library to hang out. Not. To study, 'cos I cannot study at home and I had tons of homework + revision to complete and 'cos I have no school the next day. Oh, the bliss! This is why it was an Interesting Day:

1. When I came out of the ticket gantry at Jurong East MRT station, I saw a secondary/JC boy (he was wearing a light brown uniform. so many light brown these days, how am I supposed to know!) ruuuunnnniiinnngggggg out and down the escalator. Goodness knows rushing to where, I wondered. So you know how there's always pasar malam at both sides of the walkway towards Jurong Entertainment Centre? I saw him later on, queuing up for a Ramly Burger. That made me chuckle. Lol. 'Cos I was wondering what the rush was about and then I found out.

2. Finished my studying and 3 Econs assignments. Library is closing, it's 9pm. So I walk out, and, as usual, pass by the shops in Jurong Entertainment Centre. For some reason or another, there's a lot of people getting their hair cut at this hair salon at this hour. No, that's not what made it Interesting. What made it Interesting was that the hair stylists put a tray of bread open and vulnerable on one of the counters where customers get their hair cut. I was wondering if they like to eat bread full of hair.

3. Journey back home. Grateful to get a seat on the MRT, decided to drop off at Lot One to buy highlighters, then took bus back. So, I got a seat, the one with two other seats facing you. Beside me was this Ah Pek #1. Ah Pek #2 comes on the bus and the bus starts to move off before Ah Pek #2 can sit down. Ah Pek #2 loses balance but just nice, Ah Pek #2 is facing the front of the bus and collapses nicely into the seat beside Ah Pek #1. Both of them burst into a chuckle-laughter (if you know what I mean). And then both hit it off in Hokkien, just like that, despite being strangers. Interesting, no?

All these made up an Interesting Day, plus the fact that I completed all I set out to do that day within those 4 hours, I went home a Happy Michelle, knowing there's no school tomorrow, sleeping contented and thanking God.

Can I have more days like these?

A

An 'A' is so straight and upright, the epitome of perfection. Though one letter, it spells hard work, a relentless attitude that never gives up and when recieved, is so rewarding. Getting an 'A' means you're at the top.

B

A 'B' is curvier, not so perfect, it's the 2nd to an 'A'. And it knows it, too. It's not as straight, not as deserving, not as perfect. All its life it's lived in the shadow of the 'A'. But still, it's better than none.

C

'C' is nonchalant, can be written with just a stroke of the pen and how easy it is to write it. A 'C' just, is a 'C'.

And for Project Work, I got a 'B'.

My feelings about it are subject to your interpretation.

Hello

I just wasted my day at home. :(

Jurong East Library is my favorite haunt for now 'cos I study so much more better there but I couldn't wake up in time today to get a good space. So decided not to go because going to Jurong East on Sundays is like going to Yew Tee Macs after school. Filled and filled and filled with students.

Sometimes, I wish I weren't studying. Sometimes in class, I look out the window on the streets and wish I weren't stuck in the classroom. Sometimes, when I stand on a section of the road waiting to cross the pedestrian crossing and see the cars whizz by, I wish I were one of them. Sometimes, I wish too much.

Nah, this isn't an emo post. Blogging is just an outlet for me to express what I'm thinking -- for what it's worth.

I get panic attacks so much more often now. It's not even nearing A levels but I keep thinking: I have no time! I have no time! And then I get (somewhat) determined to mug it like no tomorrow, and then it never happens. Not all the time, though. Last Sunday was spent so productively on arithmetic progression and geometric progression (APGP). But it's so inconsistent. A part of me wants to get this part of my life over and done with and yet another part of me tells me that I need to stay on and discover God's will for me in this period of time.

But still, I can't wait till A level's over!

1001 things I wanna do, I just saw Britain's tourist advertisement on television, it looks absolutely enticing, although I know that it was created to look that way. Plus the pictures of Venice in Lit class. Gossshhhh. I wanna watch a good movie, and just chill out.

So, I have come to a conclusion: Whatever it is, what reasons, what feelings, what problems, what struggles, just study hard. 'Cos my Father's love is enough for me to overcome all of them.

P.S
I don't get what gets to Mr Boey Kim Cheng so much that he describes Singapore HDB life as a "perpetual unrest" with "the endless knockings, / the stampeding feet, the hurricanes of bad temper, / the eternal television, the trashing bodies, / the endless rituals of life and death." I just heard a Malay family chorus a "Happy Birthday" to their little boy at the lift landing and 'tho it was out of tune and flat, it was oh-so-heartwarming. What's wrong with HDB life? I never wanna move into a condo. (Maybe I'll eat my words when I earn big bucks. But for now, that's the way it is.)

P.P.S
Sorry for the long post that strained your eyes and thanks for reading thus far.