Journal Entry...

Lord, I need strength for this week. When I look at the coming week, I feel that I'm looking at my Giants. Yes, I feel like a grasshopper. I feel like the Isrealites when they were challenged and confronted by the Philistines.

Yet, I know the outcome of these stories. Yet, I know in my heart that they were more than just stories, but Truths. I need strength to beat these giants, I need strength to get through this week without worrying, without griping about school, without being distracted, and to focus on what I should be doing. I need strength to overcome my own desires to take things easy, and to excel in everything I attempt to do this week.

In a nutshell, I need You.

Numbers 13:30-33

...Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are... We saw the Nephilim there. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

1 Samuel 17:45-47

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied... All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."

I take courage in Your word because it is in Your word that I find strength!

Let Me Let You (into my life)

With this blog, aren't I already?

Just a day of my life for you: Yesterday

Wanted to blog yesterday but was too tired to. But Yesterday was an Interesting Day. I mean, I think it would be a normal day for some, but it was an Interesting Day for me. Why do I say so? Read on. (I can be such a pain, sometimes.)

So Yesterday, I decided to go to Jurong East Library to hang out. Not. To study, 'cos I cannot study at home and I had tons of homework + revision to complete and 'cos I have no school the next day. Oh, the bliss! This is why it was an Interesting Day:

1. When I came out of the ticket gantry at Jurong East MRT station, I saw a secondary/JC boy (he was wearing a light brown uniform. so many light brown these days, how am I supposed to know!) ruuuunnnniiinnngggggg out and down the escalator. Goodness knows rushing to where, I wondered. So you know how there's always pasar malam at both sides of the walkway towards Jurong Entertainment Centre? I saw him later on, queuing up for a Ramly Burger. That made me chuckle. Lol. 'Cos I was wondering what the rush was about and then I found out.

2. Finished my studying and 3 Econs assignments. Library is closing, it's 9pm. So I walk out, and, as usual, pass by the shops in Jurong Entertainment Centre. For some reason or another, there's a lot of people getting their hair cut at this hair salon at this hour. No, that's not what made it Interesting. What made it Interesting was that the hair stylists put a tray of bread open and vulnerable on one of the counters where customers get their hair cut. I was wondering if they like to eat bread full of hair.

3. Journey back home. Grateful to get a seat on the MRT, decided to drop off at Lot One to buy highlighters, then took bus back. So, I got a seat, the one with two other seats facing you. Beside me was this Ah Pek #1. Ah Pek #2 comes on the bus and the bus starts to move off before Ah Pek #2 can sit down. Ah Pek #2 loses balance but just nice, Ah Pek #2 is facing the front of the bus and collapses nicely into the seat beside Ah Pek #1. Both of them burst into a chuckle-laughter (if you know what I mean). And then both hit it off in Hokkien, just like that, despite being strangers. Interesting, no?

All these made up an Interesting Day, plus the fact that I completed all I set out to do that day within those 4 hours, I went home a Happy Michelle, knowing there's no school tomorrow, sleeping contented and thanking God.

Can I have more days like these?

A

An 'A' is so straight and upright, the epitome of perfection. Though one letter, it spells hard work, a relentless attitude that never gives up and when recieved, is so rewarding. Getting an 'A' means you're at the top.

B

A 'B' is curvier, not so perfect, it's the 2nd to an 'A'. And it knows it, too. It's not as straight, not as deserving, not as perfect. All its life it's lived in the shadow of the 'A'. But still, it's better than none.

C

'C' is nonchalant, can be written with just a stroke of the pen and how easy it is to write it. A 'C' just, is a 'C'.

And for Project Work, I got a 'B'.

My feelings about it are subject to your interpretation.

Hello

I just wasted my day at home. :(

Jurong East Library is my favorite haunt for now 'cos I study so much more better there but I couldn't wake up in time today to get a good space. So decided not to go because going to Jurong East on Sundays is like going to Yew Tee Macs after school. Filled and filled and filled with students.

Sometimes, I wish I weren't studying. Sometimes in class, I look out the window on the streets and wish I weren't stuck in the classroom. Sometimes, when I stand on a section of the road waiting to cross the pedestrian crossing and see the cars whizz by, I wish I were one of them. Sometimes, I wish too much.

Nah, this isn't an emo post. Blogging is just an outlet for me to express what I'm thinking -- for what it's worth.

I get panic attacks so much more often now. It's not even nearing A levels but I keep thinking: I have no time! I have no time! And then I get (somewhat) determined to mug it like no tomorrow, and then it never happens. Not all the time, though. Last Sunday was spent so productively on arithmetic progression and geometric progression (APGP). But it's so inconsistent. A part of me wants to get this part of my life over and done with and yet another part of me tells me that I need to stay on and discover God's will for me in this period of time.

But still, I can't wait till A level's over!

1001 things I wanna do, I just saw Britain's tourist advertisement on television, it looks absolutely enticing, although I know that it was created to look that way. Plus the pictures of Venice in Lit class. Gossshhhh. I wanna watch a good movie, and just chill out.

So, I have come to a conclusion: Whatever it is, what reasons, what feelings, what problems, what struggles, just study hard. 'Cos my Father's love is enough for me to overcome all of them.

P.S
I don't get what gets to Mr Boey Kim Cheng so much that he describes Singapore HDB life as a "perpetual unrest" with "the endless knockings, / the stampeding feet, the hurricanes of bad temper, / the eternal television, the trashing bodies, / the endless rituals of life and death." I just heard a Malay family chorus a "Happy Birthday" to their little boy at the lift landing and 'tho it was out of tune and flat, it was oh-so-heartwarming. What's wrong with HDB life? I never wanna move into a condo. (Maybe I'll eat my words when I earn big bucks. But for now, that's the way it is.)

P.P.S
Sorry for the long post that strained your eyes and thanks for reading thus far.

So why, exactly, is the sky blue?

I need to study well and P.W.F.C, J2 is taking a toll on me.

I noticed, that almost everything in this world is not Michellekon-sized. The last time I bought a slice of watermelon for 6ocents at Yew Tee Foodcourt, my goodness, the thing was gigantic. Huge, I tell you. So much juice and I can't eat it properly w/o getting any juice on my face and hands. Haha.

And it's not that I don't eat much, you know. You people think I always don't eat much 'cos of the amount of food that is left over in my plate but have you ever thought my stomach is much smaller than yours (I think)? I eat just what's enough for me 'cos the portions of food is always oh-so-much. Even my uniform is not Michellekon-sized. Why!

Though I seem to be complaining much, I've never looked at myself as too small for this world (at 39kg and 155cm), 'cos I've got a Larger-than-Life God. Have you ever stood far, far away from the MRT station and looked at the people waiting for the train, going down the escalator and walking up and down? They look like ants, man! I'm so in awe of God that though I'm smaller than an ant to Him, yet He lavishes His love on me so, I see His love in my life every single day, no kidding!

Everyday, without fail, I'm reminded of His wonderful, beautiful love in more ways than I can say. And then I have reason to push on, to love the things I hate, to not give up on myself, simply because of this beautiful love.

God, I know you love hearing this as much as anyone else. Father, I love You, I love You, I love You! :)

You mean after 11 years of Chinese education, that's it?

It was quite sudden. Stealthy, without a trace.
I am, of course, referring to the seizure of the study of Chinese.
I have just come to a realisation that I will never be studying Chinese as a subject again.
I guess it is true, then, that once you've lost something, you'll treasure it much more.

I am sad to say, after just 5 months of not using Chinese (much),

I have lost touch.

It's quite a sad case, since my ethnic race is Chinese. And worse, people tell me I speak Chinese funnily. It's not that I want to, you know! Chinese -- or Mandarin, more specifically -- is a language whereby I feel comfortable speaking in. Really! I'm not kidding!

In the past, I used to live in Ipoh, Malaysia. So in Malaysia, they have Chinese schools, Malay schools, and English schools. My parents, seeing that I had zero knowledge in Chinese, and being the forward-looking parents they were, put me in a Chinese school. Major culture shock. Everybody speaking Cantonese which was alien language compared to Chinese. But being the adaptive me (:D), I picked it up soon enough. Ting Yat Mm Ooi Fan Ohkay! (just kidding)

Maybe it was the experience in Malaysia, where I somehow led the 'kampung' community lifestyle, where everybody spoke Chinese and Cantonese. Maybe it's because I used to have friends who would speak Chinese with me. Maybe it's all of these reasons put together and much more -- Chinese simply makes me feel at home. (I do speak Chinese with my parents at home, FYI.) When I hold a conversation in Chinese with another person, it's because I feel close enough to the person to do so. Doesn't mean I don't talk to you in Chinese so I'm not close to you!

Just that, if circumstances allow, if it's a good chat at night in a familiar heartland coffehouse, or just a simple conversation over a meal, I feel good chatting in Mandarin.

That's why, I am quite sad that I no longer speak/write as fluently (not that I did it very fluently in the past. The keywords are "as fluently".)

I guess all the Civics and Moral Education lessons in primary school about how not to lose our Chinese roots have not gone to waste.

Acronym World

My Common Test is starting in two weeks and I'm starting to F.T.H. I really think I C.M.I since I'm not consistent in all my tests and assignments and C.S.S when studying :( I hope I will P.W.F.C for all my subjects and not F.M.T.

C.T.A,
Bye

----------------------
F.T.H -- Feel The Heat
C.M.I -- Cannot Make It
C.S.S -- Cannot Sit Still
P.W.F.C -- Pass With Flying Colors
F.M.T -- Fail Miserably Terribly
C.T.A -- Cheers To All

Picture Post!

You know I've got so much to blog about but once I come to the bloggin page, -blank-. :( Quite sadded by it.

Anyway, decided to do a picture post to fill you in on what's been happening the past few 1000 years I never blogged.

This is how it's like studying in PJC.

This is how I celebrated Christmas. Lol.

This is so amusing, man. Look! They've got Christmas trees and Chinese New Year trees. Lololol!

I love shopping malls like these! :D I found this in KL's Berjaya Times Square.

Clockwise from top-right: The coach that brought us around Malaysia, Along Penang Road, The night scene in Kuala Lumpur and Eating @ Penang's Gurney Drive.

Family Picture against KL's Petronas Twin Towers! From left to right: My sis, Me, Mum, Dad, random group of people who are so eager to take photos with us :\

Finally, someone proposed to me! :O

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Nah, I love life too much now to get married.

Back to Blogging

I have a problem.

And it's very obvious what that problem is.

I can't commit to blogging. :(

I've got a lot a lot of things to blog about! But I guess I really don't have the heart to sit down and type everything out.

Thanks all those who still come back regularly for updates thought it's been about two months.

Look out for more posts!

Let Me Tell You Why:

I'm just lazy. Read the fine print.


Actually I have thousands of things to blog about but by the time the page loads, the inspiration is just not there anymore. I don't like to wait to pen down my thoughts :( Therefore the arid desert.

Short hair?

I cut my hair. Again. So sue me.

I don't know what's come over me, cutting my hair so many times. I guess its become an obsession. Haha, no lah, that's an exaggeration. But when the hairdresser was cutting my hair I just kept saying in my head, "Cut more, cut more!"

I think I'm going crazy.

Let me tell you my history with hair.

I've had long hair since I was, about, Primary 2 and never ever cut it 'cos when I was about 6 years old this person cut my hair too short and I cried for 3 days and 3 nights. (Another exaggeration.) Well, I really treasured my hair back then and then was too traumatized to cut my hair short again.

This year, I don't know what's come over me, but one day I looked at my reflection and I decided I was sick of my long hair after so many years.

So I cut it the next day. Talk about being rash.

Some people think short hair doesn't suit me, but what can I do? What's done is done. Do I miss my long hair? Sure I do. I didn't miss it the first few weeks, but now, I'm starting to miss it more and more.

I should just get a move on.

Tribute to 07A06

It's official.

And it's over.

07A06 will be no more.

I've really really really really enjoyed my time being in this class and I must say, it's one of the most nosiest, unpredictable, enjoyable, fun, LOUDest, craziest, wackiest class I've ever been in. I still can't believe the fact that 07A06 will be no more next year. This is one place where I feel belonged to. These are people with big hearts.

Sorry that I'm not there for most of the outings (like how y'all in town now but I'm at home with a sprained ankle), but know that I really do treasure you guys! It's been a really enjoyable one year in JC1, knowing how worried I was when I stepped into PJC unsure of what the future held but you guys helped in that department so so so much.

This is to us.

'Cos you guys make me happy. Lol.

Shoot my mouth off

Hello! Gonna be bloggin' about random things today.

Didya know? I have another blog! Hahah I really don't know what's up with me getting another one when I don't even update this regurly, but I'll try my best!

http://more-of-you.blogspot.com

It's my e-Spiritual Journal, I thought it'd be easier to have two separate ones instead of lumping them both together here. Just for me to share my walk with God. Comment there too if you pop by!

I realised, that I was writing more freely before I actually let people see this blog. Now, I don't really write as freely anymore 'cos I guess in my subconscious mind I know that people get to see what I'm writing and therefore am more careful. I dunno. Just something I realised.

And, I can't express how much I love Ribena! I think, that it's the greatest drink ever invented and it's just oh-so-convenient and I love the way it tastes when I drink it when I'm thirsty. I get absolutely refreshed!

That's all for now, folks.

Time = Money

Yes, it's true!

I mean, the money you spend is proportional to the time you save. In other words, the more money you spend, the more time you save! Heh.

When traveling from one place to another, taking the MRT is cheap, but takes a long time. Taking a taxi is real fast, but you spend way more.

If you want hair extentions, you need to pay more (a lot a lot more) for it. If you're going bald, you have to go to Beijing 101 and pay for it to grow back too. But, if you just let it grow, it takes very longgggg....

If a guy wants to propose to a girl, the bigger the diamond ring, the more the money spent, the faster she'll marry him. 'Nuff said.

Therefore, I conclude, time = money.

Hosanna!

Just imagine this..


The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them and Jesus sat on them. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted.


"Hosanna to the Son of David!"

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!"

"Hosanna in the highest!"


When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, "Who is this?"

The crowds answered, "This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee."

Matthew 21:6-11


Although I came across this verse many times, I read it again today and it took my breath away. Because I could imagine the glory, the triumph when Jesus entered Jerusalem. I could imagine if I were in the crowd, surely I would be ecstatic! Jesus needed no finery or trumpets or grand horses. He himself was enough, "gentle and riding on a donkey on a colt". He came in a way that was humble but yet the people shouted "Hosanna!" and blessed his name, welcoming the King of kings and Lord of lords, praising Him and exalting him.

Wow.

P.S
'Hosanna' is a Hebrew expression meaning "Save!" which became an exclaimation of praise.