Prayer

If we really revere God and look to Him as the almighty God, then our prayer life would also follow accordingly.

It will no longer be petty prayers that are motivated by self-benefit like "make the bus come", "I pray that I won't be late" & in doing so treating God like a vending machine.

If we fear God, our prayers will be those that revere Him and honour Him, that acknowledges that He is God above all and that if it is in His will for things to happen, they will happen because He is God Almighty. And knowing so gives us confidence in God for allowing things that happen (or don't happen) and knowing that we can't always have things the way we want them to be.

It gives me the confidence that the Almighty God actually listens to Michelle-sized prayers, and that gives me great comfort.

Thank You, God.

Psalms 66:19-20

...but God has surely listened

and heard my voice in prayer.
Praise be to God,

who has not rejected my prayer

or withheld his love from me!

Anybody?

I just thought about something the other day -- a magic trick that some random person showed me when I was still a kid and I realised that I have been trying to figure that trick out for years and until now, still haven't got it yet.

So if any of you guys know the secret of the trick, can you please please please please please let me know? It goes like this:

1. You take a rubber band and put it around your wrist
2. Roll it up and down your arm and take it out, it should look twisted all over
3. Take the rubber bands by two ends with your two hands
4. Twist the two sides of the rubber band such that the middle crunches up when you bring your two hands together
5. Pull your hands apart and you should get an un-entangled rubber band!

It's the most frustrating trick I have ever come across 'cos I've never been able to know why is it like that or meet anybody who can tell me why, so if you know why, can you tell me please?

Random thought of the Day:
I think little kids would feel cheated if they learn all the names of the various dinosaurs and learn how to spell the names and watch Jurassic Park and all that, to grow up only to find that dinosaurs were already extinct. -.-

Random musing of the Day:
If someone were to write a book on your life, how many people would read it?
(c.f the Navy commercial where everybody in the cinema fell asleep while watching the movie of the life story of some random guy.)

-Ecclesiastes 12:13-

Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the whole duty of man.

Desire

You know what's it like to really desire?

It's kinda a strong word.

We were talking about it in Lit class the other day, whether which word is more appropriate. Whether the "want to escape" or the "desire to escape" or the "motivation to escape" is more suitable when writing our essays.

Side-track: 'A's in about 5 months time! :O

And my teacher said that the "desire" for something only comes when it makes us wanna do something about it. Something like that.

I think, desire makes you wanna go out of the place where you are now and doing the thing that you really desire. That when you see that thing, your heart just totally wishes that you were there at that time, instead of where you are at this time. Oh gosh, do you know what I mean?

But no matter what it is, my One Desire needs to be God before I can do anything else. He needs to be the desire of my heart, before I can fulfill any of my other desires. There's something that I really really desire to do, but I know God must top it off, and before I can achieve that, none of the desires I have should take His place.

So, wait, Michelle, wait.

Isaiah 26:8-9b
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
[I] wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of [my] heart.
My soul yearns for you in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for you.

(If you wanna know what's the desire I'm talking 'bout, just ask me :D )

An Exaggeration

My ulcer is killing me.

Sometimes, Somethings

I think, some things are just meant for us to look at and marvel at God's creation. No matter how much we try, no matter what we do, we cannot retain these things. They're meant for that time, that place, and that person.

Call me sentimental, but I really believe so.

Like the moon and the stars. I know, common sight. But have you ever seen them at their best? It's like a blanket of sky covered with diamonds, and the moon being enthroned in the sky. It's such a beautiful sight. Especially when at night walking home after a long day, seeing the full moon immediately lifts my spirits.

But have you ever tried taken a picture of this magnificent view? It's virtually impossible. The effect will just be, gone. We can't capture God's awesome creation with man-made cameras. It just won't be the same.

Psalms 8:3-4
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

And snow! Snowflakes! Have you ever seen the real deal? When everywhere is covered with snow, festive season sets in, and children having fun in the white stuff? Haha, it's really a wonderful sight. Once, I caught a snowflake. It was beautiful. So my mum and I, we tried keeping it in the freezer, at least until winter ended. But it just didn't stay the same, the splendour was gone after a few hours, and no longer what it was before.

I guess the snowflake was meant for me at that time to marvel at, to make me feel loved by God, and not to be insistent on keeping it.

And, I guess, I couldn't ask for more. Thank You, God!

Craving

I need ice-cream so, so bad..

Namely, Strawberry Cheesecake flavour.

Missed free cone day. There's no denying ice-cream makes a person happy, what's more a free ice-cream? One year one time only lehhhh :(

Strawberry Cheesecake, where are you?

Journal Entry...

Lord, I need strength for this week. When I look at the coming week, I feel that I'm looking at my Giants. Yes, I feel like a grasshopper. I feel like the Isrealites when they were challenged and confronted by the Philistines.

Yet, I know the outcome of these stories. Yet, I know in my heart that they were more than just stories, but Truths. I need strength to beat these giants, I need strength to get through this week without worrying, without griping about school, without being distracted, and to focus on what I should be doing. I need strength to overcome my own desires to take things easy, and to excel in everything I attempt to do this week.

In a nutshell, I need You.

Numbers 13:30-33

...Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are... We saw the Nephilim there. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

1 Samuel 17:45-47

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied... All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."

I take courage in Your word because it is in Your word that I find strength!

Let Me Let You (into my life)

With this blog, aren't I already?

Just a day of my life for you: Yesterday

Wanted to blog yesterday but was too tired to. But Yesterday was an Interesting Day. I mean, I think it would be a normal day for some, but it was an Interesting Day for me. Why do I say so? Read on. (I can be such a pain, sometimes.)

So Yesterday, I decided to go to Jurong East Library to hang out. Not. To study, 'cos I cannot study at home and I had tons of homework + revision to complete and 'cos I have no school the next day. Oh, the bliss! This is why it was an Interesting Day:

1. When I came out of the ticket gantry at Jurong East MRT station, I saw a secondary/JC boy (he was wearing a light brown uniform. so many light brown these days, how am I supposed to know!) ruuuunnnniiinnngggggg out and down the escalator. Goodness knows rushing to where, I wondered. So you know how there's always pasar malam at both sides of the walkway towards Jurong Entertainment Centre? I saw him later on, queuing up for a Ramly Burger. That made me chuckle. Lol. 'Cos I was wondering what the rush was about and then I found out.

2. Finished my studying and 3 Econs assignments. Library is closing, it's 9pm. So I walk out, and, as usual, pass by the shops in Jurong Entertainment Centre. For some reason or another, there's a lot of people getting their hair cut at this hair salon at this hour. No, that's not what made it Interesting. What made it Interesting was that the hair stylists put a tray of bread open and vulnerable on one of the counters where customers get their hair cut. I was wondering if they like to eat bread full of hair.

3. Journey back home. Grateful to get a seat on the MRT, decided to drop off at Lot One to buy highlighters, then took bus back. So, I got a seat, the one with two other seats facing you. Beside me was this Ah Pek #1. Ah Pek #2 comes on the bus and the bus starts to move off before Ah Pek #2 can sit down. Ah Pek #2 loses balance but just nice, Ah Pek #2 is facing the front of the bus and collapses nicely into the seat beside Ah Pek #1. Both of them burst into a chuckle-laughter (if you know what I mean). And then both hit it off in Hokkien, just like that, despite being strangers. Interesting, no?

All these made up an Interesting Day, plus the fact that I completed all I set out to do that day within those 4 hours, I went home a Happy Michelle, knowing there's no school tomorrow, sleeping contented and thanking God.

Can I have more days like these?

A

An 'A' is so straight and upright, the epitome of perfection. Though one letter, it spells hard work, a relentless attitude that never gives up and when recieved, is so rewarding. Getting an 'A' means you're at the top.

B

A 'B' is curvier, not so perfect, it's the 2nd to an 'A'. And it knows it, too. It's not as straight, not as deserving, not as perfect. All its life it's lived in the shadow of the 'A'. But still, it's better than none.

C

'C' is nonchalant, can be written with just a stroke of the pen and how easy it is to write it. A 'C' just, is a 'C'.

And for Project Work, I got a 'B'.

My feelings about it are subject to your interpretation.

Hello

I just wasted my day at home. :(

Jurong East Library is my favorite haunt for now 'cos I study so much more better there but I couldn't wake up in time today to get a good space. So decided not to go because going to Jurong East on Sundays is like going to Yew Tee Macs after school. Filled and filled and filled with students.

Sometimes, I wish I weren't studying. Sometimes in class, I look out the window on the streets and wish I weren't stuck in the classroom. Sometimes, when I stand on a section of the road waiting to cross the pedestrian crossing and see the cars whizz by, I wish I were one of them. Sometimes, I wish too much.

Nah, this isn't an emo post. Blogging is just an outlet for me to express what I'm thinking -- for what it's worth.

I get panic attacks so much more often now. It's not even nearing A levels but I keep thinking: I have no time! I have no time! And then I get (somewhat) determined to mug it like no tomorrow, and then it never happens. Not all the time, though. Last Sunday was spent so productively on arithmetic progression and geometric progression (APGP). But it's so inconsistent. A part of me wants to get this part of my life over and done with and yet another part of me tells me that I need to stay on and discover God's will for me in this period of time.

But still, I can't wait till A level's over!

1001 things I wanna do, I just saw Britain's tourist advertisement on television, it looks absolutely enticing, although I know that it was created to look that way. Plus the pictures of Venice in Lit class. Gossshhhh. I wanna watch a good movie, and just chill out.

So, I have come to a conclusion: Whatever it is, what reasons, what feelings, what problems, what struggles, just study hard. 'Cos my Father's love is enough for me to overcome all of them.

P.S
I don't get what gets to Mr Boey Kim Cheng so much that he describes Singapore HDB life as a "perpetual unrest" with "the endless knockings, / the stampeding feet, the hurricanes of bad temper, / the eternal television, the trashing bodies, / the endless rituals of life and death." I just heard a Malay family chorus a "Happy Birthday" to their little boy at the lift landing and 'tho it was out of tune and flat, it was oh-so-heartwarming. What's wrong with HDB life? I never wanna move into a condo. (Maybe I'll eat my words when I earn big bucks. But for now, that's the way it is.)

P.P.S
Sorry for the long post that strained your eyes and thanks for reading thus far.

So why, exactly, is the sky blue?

I need to study well and P.W.F.C, J2 is taking a toll on me.

I noticed, that almost everything in this world is not Michellekon-sized. The last time I bought a slice of watermelon for 6ocents at Yew Tee Foodcourt, my goodness, the thing was gigantic. Huge, I tell you. So much juice and I can't eat it properly w/o getting any juice on my face and hands. Haha.

And it's not that I don't eat much, you know. You people think I always don't eat much 'cos of the amount of food that is left over in my plate but have you ever thought my stomach is much smaller than yours (I think)? I eat just what's enough for me 'cos the portions of food is always oh-so-much. Even my uniform is not Michellekon-sized. Why!

Though I seem to be complaining much, I've never looked at myself as too small for this world (at 39kg and 155cm), 'cos I've got a Larger-than-Life God. Have you ever stood far, far away from the MRT station and looked at the people waiting for the train, going down the escalator and walking up and down? They look like ants, man! I'm so in awe of God that though I'm smaller than an ant to Him, yet He lavishes His love on me so, I see His love in my life every single day, no kidding!

Everyday, without fail, I'm reminded of His wonderful, beautiful love in more ways than I can say. And then I have reason to push on, to love the things I hate, to not give up on myself, simply because of this beautiful love.

God, I know you love hearing this as much as anyone else. Father, I love You, I love You, I love You! :)

You mean after 11 years of Chinese education, that's it?

It was quite sudden. Stealthy, without a trace.
I am, of course, referring to the seizure of the study of Chinese.
I have just come to a realisation that I will never be studying Chinese as a subject again.
I guess it is true, then, that once you've lost something, you'll treasure it much more.

I am sad to say, after just 5 months of not using Chinese (much),

I have lost touch.

It's quite a sad case, since my ethnic race is Chinese. And worse, people tell me I speak Chinese funnily. It's not that I want to, you know! Chinese -- or Mandarin, more specifically -- is a language whereby I feel comfortable speaking in. Really! I'm not kidding!

In the past, I used to live in Ipoh, Malaysia. So in Malaysia, they have Chinese schools, Malay schools, and English schools. My parents, seeing that I had zero knowledge in Chinese, and being the forward-looking parents they were, put me in a Chinese school. Major culture shock. Everybody speaking Cantonese which was alien language compared to Chinese. But being the adaptive me (:D), I picked it up soon enough. Ting Yat Mm Ooi Fan Ohkay! (just kidding)

Maybe it was the experience in Malaysia, where I somehow led the 'kampung' community lifestyle, where everybody spoke Chinese and Cantonese. Maybe it's because I used to have friends who would speak Chinese with me. Maybe it's all of these reasons put together and much more -- Chinese simply makes me feel at home. (I do speak Chinese with my parents at home, FYI.) When I hold a conversation in Chinese with another person, it's because I feel close enough to the person to do so. Doesn't mean I don't talk to you in Chinese so I'm not close to you!

Just that, if circumstances allow, if it's a good chat at night in a familiar heartland coffehouse, or just a simple conversation over a meal, I feel good chatting in Mandarin.

That's why, I am quite sad that I no longer speak/write as fluently (not that I did it very fluently in the past. The keywords are "as fluently".)

I guess all the Civics and Moral Education lessons in primary school about how not to lose our Chinese roots have not gone to waste.

Acronym World

My Common Test is starting in two weeks and I'm starting to F.T.H. I really think I C.M.I since I'm not consistent in all my tests and assignments and C.S.S when studying :( I hope I will P.W.F.C for all my subjects and not F.M.T.

C.T.A,
Bye

----------------------
F.T.H -- Feel The Heat
C.M.I -- Cannot Make It
C.S.S -- Cannot Sit Still
P.W.F.C -- Pass With Flying Colors
F.M.T -- Fail Miserably Terribly
C.T.A -- Cheers To All

Picture Post!

You know I've got so much to blog about but once I come to the bloggin page, -blank-. :( Quite sadded by it.

Anyway, decided to do a picture post to fill you in on what's been happening the past few 1000 years I never blogged.

This is how it's like studying in PJC.

This is how I celebrated Christmas. Lol.

This is so amusing, man. Look! They've got Christmas trees and Chinese New Year trees. Lololol!

I love shopping malls like these! :D I found this in KL's Berjaya Times Square.

Clockwise from top-right: The coach that brought us around Malaysia, Along Penang Road, The night scene in Kuala Lumpur and Eating @ Penang's Gurney Drive.

Family Picture against KL's Petronas Twin Towers! From left to right: My sis, Me, Mum, Dad, random group of people who are so eager to take photos with us :\

Finally, someone proposed to me! :O

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Nah, I love life too much now to get married.

Back to Blogging

I have a problem.

And it's very obvious what that problem is.

I can't commit to blogging. :(

I've got a lot a lot of things to blog about! But I guess I really don't have the heart to sit down and type everything out.

Thanks all those who still come back regularly for updates thought it's been about two months.

Look out for more posts!