MOVING (soon)

Hello people, shocking annoncement coming up:

I've Decided To MOVE

Visit me at http://mixstix.tumblr.com

I'm not moving immediately, needa have sometime to rough out the edges and stuff, if ya know what I mean.

It's an experimental blog, nothing solid up yet, just managed to tamper around with it and therefore the many many posts in one day (which are gonna be taken down when I've settled down).

But I love it so far! Can post quotes, upload my mp3s, chatlogs, etc. As you can see, I'm trying to be tech-savvy. (What is promote tumblr on blogger right, but oh well.)

Don't ask about the URL, it was the first thing that came to mind.

I'm gonna miss blogger tho :(

ohmygdness

I totallllyyyy messed it up.

Prelims, I mean.

Today Lit Paper 5, when I was trying my utmost best to generate ideas, this was what was going through my mind:

--> Okay, the connection between memories, Sylvia Plath, and Boey is like owiejrkejsfdsdf
--> King Lear was a tragedy because owekjrkdfjs and in the end he eljre;s ekjr
--> What's wrong with me?
--> The protagonist in the passage is trying to relate to kej;raje skejrs
--> I can't do this anymore

Um, not stressed or anything lah. No, I wasn't swearing either. The gibberish was a representation (Lit is like haunting me) of my uncoherent state of mind. Just couldn't do it. I'm so sorry to all my Lit teachers. I wrote the best I could in that circumstance, but it's not gonna be good enough. Thank God I have another shot at it in the A levels. One more shot only.

Econs Paper 1, 2, Maths Paper 2 and Lit Paper 1 to go.

C'monnnnn...

Same same, but different

Hello, hello, hello!

Well, it's been a while now, hasn't it.

Basically, have just been mugging. Nothing terrific or particularly electrifying about it, but still. Doing something with my life.

Uhm, PRELIMS in approximately a week's time and I'm trying my utmost best to stay afloat.

It's not an impossible feat, but it's as difficult as they said it would be.

And, I can't believe that I'm almost done with this part of my life already.

Seriously, all those who are considering to go JC, lemme tell you this: JC fast-fowards your life like how Usain Bolt burned up the track. Sorry, lousy analogy, but studying burned up my brains.

Sooner than you know it, we're coming to the end of 2008.

Goodbye world, hello theory of comparative advantage and complex numbers.

2 more months to As

Um.

I don't like how it is at the back of my mind I know "I have to blog, I have to blog", so here I am, blogging.

So, this what's been going on lately:

• Studying most of the time
• 85 days to A levels
  (THE NUMBERS ARE HAUNTING ME EVERYDAY and I can't do anything about it)
• School's a draggggggg (dramatic effect, if I may.)
• Going to USA for holiday end of this year
  (I think, it'd be really apt if I wore one of those "I [heart] NY" shirts over there. You think?)
• Thinking about the many many possible reasons why I must study hard
  #1 For the people who love/care
  #2 'Cos I get to go USA at the end of the year [yes, i know, call me a lucky freak]
  #3 Cos i wanna do what i wanna do
  #4 Cos i don't wanna screw up again
  #5 Cos I know i can do it if i wanna
  #6 Cos this is the only time in my life where i get to push myself - and feel accomplished
• And then thinking if are all these motivational enough, if not why am I now studying hard enough
• Thinking about the many possible courses that I could do in the future (Pretty much wanna go either NTU MassComm or NUS Architecture. But the thought is pretty much over the hill, down the valley, across that bridge, wayyyyyy up after you cross the meadow. In other words, it's far off.)
• Which led me to think about the many jobs I could do in the future (I feel that I can do almost anything, right about now)
• Which led me to think what Life for me will be in the future
• Which led me to tell myself to stop thinking 'cos I needa finish 'A's first. (don't you just hate that when it happens)
• Many changes around here these few days.
• Happy National Day! (Was cool singing Nat Day songs in school 'cos the past few years' songs just automatically flowed out of my mouth. Kudos to S'pores Patriotism Scheme a.k.a the education system. Not too bad after all :)*
• Olympics is cool :D
• I imagined myself as one of the competitors, just for fun. (It will not happen in this lifetime)
• Everyweek is a tiring week
• Weekends with church and all is a good reprieve and then hard to get my momentum back
• FRIENDS IS HILLARIOUS. HAHAHAAA. I never knew!

*indicates a double closing-bracket-thingy. If you know the techincal term for it, all the better.

Okay, this is (counting..) SIXTEEN BLOG ENTRIES compressed into one (c'mon, who's da pro) which gives you just about enough compensation for the past month without blogging and then some. Which is kinda better, in a way, if you think about it, 'cos you can pick one bullet point (any one, really, just pick one) and expand on it yourself, and, PRESTO. A blog entry to suit what you would like to read. :D Talk about instant blog entries.

This only took 10 mins to type so don't condemn me for not studying hard! :(

P.S
Sorry for sounding so, erhem, acerbic? It's the weather, lah. Hot cold hot cold.

Since we are on the subject of studying...

Actually, we're not. We were just on the subject of grades, which is linked to studying.

But any-old-how.

Two Nuggets of Truth

(For myself, at least. But if you wanna make them yours, you can too :D)

#1 You are only as stressed as how much stress you give yourself (I hope that makes sense 'cos today my Engrish a bit the spoil)

#2 I figured, that this time I'm either gonna make it either with or without God.

Having said so, I'd rather me scoring average/lousily for A levels (yes, A levels, you heard me right) and doing it with God

than

to score all As and doing it completely with Him out of the picture.

'Cos I know when I do it with Him, that's gonna land me wherever He wants me to go. And I wanna be in the center of His will, 'cos it's the best place a person can ever want to be.

So there you have it.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

YOU U

Sorry for the lag in updates, have been through the torturous Mid-Year Examinations. Draining, difficult, and dreadful.

Okay, maybe overexaggerating.

But to emphasize this point, the other day I was thinking what a U could stand for. (Point of Information: In JC, the grading system goes from A, B, C, D, E, S (Subpass) and U (UNGRADED).

I mean, how can you even mark someone Ungraded when you obviously did grade it? Well, i thought A Big Fat U could stand for: Underachieving, Underperforming, Unsatisfactory, Unheard of, Unacceptable, Unanticipated, UGLY.

But, looking at it in another perspective, it could also stand for: Unafraid, Unashamed ("Lord we know who we are..." Hahah YI people know), Unshaken, Undefeated, Uncompromising, Unconditional (Perseverance) , Unconventional!

I hope my results are like the latter.

And that goes on top of the hope that I don't get a U.

Question

Father, what does it take to be a person after Your own heart?

"Whatever it takes."

The Smiley Face Phenomenon

I wonder if you've noticed.

The Smiley Face Phenomenon! Do you not know?

Haha, okay, just being annoying here.

I don't know if it's the stress from studying or is it just the melancholia of the world, but recently, I discovered that all I have to do is to draw a smiley face anywhere (on my hand, on my notes, on my homework) and I immediately feel cheered up.

And through my years of "research", -ahem-, I've discovered that the curvier the smile is, the happier it looks! And I've discovered that different people like to draw their smiley faces differently. Some with two dots for the eyes, some with elongated smiles, some with two parallel lines for the eyes, some with a nose, some with no nose.

Anyway anyhow, I think smiley faces are a wonderful thing, simply for the cheeriness they bring.

And I think another reason for the rise in the use of smiley faces (ohmygoodness that sounds so economics-y) is that people now are losing their joy, losing their hope, losing reason to be happy. But the little smiley face is somehow a sign of how they still cling on to it, and reminds them that somewhere out there, there still might be a reason to be happy.

Mom's a teacher, and she was telling me that there was this one day, to reward a child, she asked this boy in kindergarten whether he wanted her to draw a smiley face. He said, no, I want a sad face.

So sad right!! Where got kids want sad face oneeee. C'mon man, what's the world coming to?

So stop drawing smiley faces and start living out what it stands for!

Sidetrack-which-is-still-quite-relevant-to-this-post:
I think Mr Bean is another epitome of what Smiley Faces stand for, because everytime I pass by it right, I just feel all cheered up inside of me. Haha. I just love everything about it, the cheeriness, the whiteness of the place, the freshness of the soya bean, the everything!

Go and try the soya bean ice-cream, I love it!

Happenings

Holidays are God-given, I believe from the bottom of my heart.

I'm so sorry I've not been blogging recently, I really know it is quite irritating to go to a page and see the same post again.

Well, this week has been rather eventful, if I may say so myself.

Tuesday and Wednesday brought about an escapade (noun -- a reckless adventure; an escape from confinement or restraint) with Mom, Cheryl and Mom's two friends to our dear neighbour, Johor Baru, Malaysia to attend our church's annual Renewal Camp at Hyatt Hotel. Haha, I wouldn't call it a 'reckless adventure', so to speak, but it was seeing things in a whole new dimension. I mean, once you cross the causeway, it's a whole new dimension in itself, seeing different people in a different place other than Singapore. So near, but yet so different.

Though short, the trip was good, refreshing, and many thoughts got me preoccupied as Ps. Jane Lowder shared and spoke to the church. Not so much regarding the topics she talked about, but more about her life she lived thus far, being about 60 years of age.

And that got me thinking about my own life.

She talked about how she visited Egypt and loved it so much, how she prayed for people in the Philippines, what she did in Indonesia... Though she never emphasized on the miracles, signs, and wonders that took place, what captured me was the spirit of serving God.

Traveling around the world is awesome, but what tops it off is traveling around the world doing God's work.

And when I see people like Ps Preston, Ps Matt Fielder, Ps Paul Geerling and I read about people like Jackie Pullinger and Corrie ten Boom, all these servants of God, I look up to them as godly people who I admire. These people are the ones who let me see the larger-than-life God in them, and cause me to love God more than ever, and I wanna be like them, it's my heart's desire. It's like my last post, my heart just totally wishes I were in their postion.

And yesterday, we had the Amazing Race. It was Amazingly Fun, but Amazingly Tiring as well, and you know the feeling after you had an Amazingly Tiring day, when you get home, you would wanna do nothing else, throw everything aside, and just have an Amazingly Wonderful warm bath, and sleep in the Amazingly Comfortable bed.


That's what my heart's desire make me feel like doing, just throwing everything aside and serve Him and Him alone. Throw everything aside, and spend time with Him and Him alone. Throw everything aside and just listen to Him, be still and know that He is God.

And yet that small part of me knows I still need to take care of my ministries - family, church, studies.

But this reminds me that God's got it all under control:

Isaiah 52:12

But you will not leave in haste

or go in flight;

for the LORD will go before you,

the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

Prayer

If we really revere God and look to Him as the almighty God, then our prayer life would also follow accordingly.

It will no longer be petty prayers that are motivated by self-benefit like "make the bus come", "I pray that I won't be late" & in doing so treating God like a vending machine.

If we fear God, our prayers will be those that revere Him and honour Him, that acknowledges that He is God above all and that if it is in His will for things to happen, they will happen because He is God Almighty. And knowing so gives us confidence in God for allowing things that happen (or don't happen) and knowing that we can't always have things the way we want them to be.

It gives me the confidence that the Almighty God actually listens to Michelle-sized prayers, and that gives me great comfort.

Thank You, God.

Psalms 66:19-20

...but God has surely listened

and heard my voice in prayer.
Praise be to God,

who has not rejected my prayer

or withheld his love from me!

Anybody?

I just thought about something the other day -- a magic trick that some random person showed me when I was still a kid and I realised that I have been trying to figure that trick out for years and until now, still haven't got it yet.

So if any of you guys know the secret of the trick, can you please please please please please let me know? It goes like this:

1. You take a rubber band and put it around your wrist
2. Roll it up and down your arm and take it out, it should look twisted all over
3. Take the rubber bands by two ends with your two hands
4. Twist the two sides of the rubber band such that the middle crunches up when you bring your two hands together
5. Pull your hands apart and you should get an un-entangled rubber band!

It's the most frustrating trick I have ever come across 'cos I've never been able to know why is it like that or meet anybody who can tell me why, so if you know why, can you tell me please?

Random thought of the Day:
I think little kids would feel cheated if they learn all the names of the various dinosaurs and learn how to spell the names and watch Jurassic Park and all that, to grow up only to find that dinosaurs were already extinct. -.-

Random musing of the Day:
If someone were to write a book on your life, how many people would read it?
(c.f the Navy commercial where everybody in the cinema fell asleep while watching the movie of the life story of some random guy.)

-Ecclesiastes 12:13-

Now all has been heard;

here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

for this is the whole duty of man.

Desire

You know what's it like to really desire?

It's kinda a strong word.

We were talking about it in Lit class the other day, whether which word is more appropriate. Whether the "want to escape" or the "desire to escape" or the "motivation to escape" is more suitable when writing our essays.

Side-track: 'A's in about 5 months time! :O

And my teacher said that the "desire" for something only comes when it makes us wanna do something about it. Something like that.

I think, desire makes you wanna go out of the place where you are now and doing the thing that you really desire. That when you see that thing, your heart just totally wishes that you were there at that time, instead of where you are at this time. Oh gosh, do you know what I mean?

But no matter what it is, my One Desire needs to be God before I can do anything else. He needs to be the desire of my heart, before I can fulfill any of my other desires. There's something that I really really desire to do, but I know God must top it off, and before I can achieve that, none of the desires I have should take His place.

So, wait, Michelle, wait.

Isaiah 26:8-9b
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
[I] wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of [my] heart.
My soul yearns for you in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for you.

(If you wanna know what's the desire I'm talking 'bout, just ask me :D )

An Exaggeration

My ulcer is killing me.

Sometimes, Somethings

I think, some things are just meant for us to look at and marvel at God's creation. No matter how much we try, no matter what we do, we cannot retain these things. They're meant for that time, that place, and that person.

Call me sentimental, but I really believe so.

Like the moon and the stars. I know, common sight. But have you ever seen them at their best? It's like a blanket of sky covered with diamonds, and the moon being enthroned in the sky. It's such a beautiful sight. Especially when at night walking home after a long day, seeing the full moon immediately lifts my spirits.

But have you ever tried taken a picture of this magnificent view? It's virtually impossible. The effect will just be, gone. We can't capture God's awesome creation with man-made cameras. It just won't be the same.

Psalms 8:3-4
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

And snow! Snowflakes! Have you ever seen the real deal? When everywhere is covered with snow, festive season sets in, and children having fun in the white stuff? Haha, it's really a wonderful sight. Once, I caught a snowflake. It was beautiful. So my mum and I, we tried keeping it in the freezer, at least until winter ended. But it just didn't stay the same, the splendour was gone after a few hours, and no longer what it was before.

I guess the snowflake was meant for me at that time to marvel at, to make me feel loved by God, and not to be insistent on keeping it.

And, I guess, I couldn't ask for more. Thank You, God!

Craving

I need ice-cream so, so bad..

Namely, Strawberry Cheesecake flavour.

Missed free cone day. There's no denying ice-cream makes a person happy, what's more a free ice-cream? One year one time only lehhhh :(

Strawberry Cheesecake, where are you?